But awhile ago I was at the Calvert Woodley liquor store and happened to pick up a jar of pickled Habenero peppers—which I now know are 100,000-350,000 on the Scoville scale (one-tenth the hotness of pepper spray).

I had an empty stomach and was pretty hungry so I ate four of those peppers, one after another, as I drove the mile and a half back to my house. It seemed like an exceptionally hot batch of peppers and I noted that they burned quite a bit. Very soon I started to feel significant heat and pain in my stomach, similar to what I sometimes get if I drink alcohol on an empty stomach.

By the end of the short drive, I was so uncomfortable that I could barely drag myself out of the car, open the door to my house and collapse on the kitchen floor, waiting for the pain to subside. But it did not, and indeed seemed to worsen. I started to wonder just how badly I had blundered. I speculated about whether I had perhaps ruptured my stomach lining, and I started to wonder whether I would survive. I writhed for several minutes on the floor, all alone in the house, cursing my bad judgment.

At the high point of my suffering I reached for the phone and, I am embarrassed to say, dialed 911. I told the emergency operator what I had done and asked for advice. He had no ideas except sending an ambulance. I am proud to say that I declined that option, preferring to die than have an ambulance arrive for probably not fatal hot pepper consumption.

At last I had the bright idea to pull myself up, open the refrigerator, grab a half-gallon of milk, and drink as much as I could. I was better in a few minutes after that.

This dubious event took place in front of my impressionable five-year-old daughter who had traveled some 2000 miles with me to view the spectacle.

This was the second annual occurrence, and appears to go against the grain of usual effigy burning, in that most of the hundred-plus attendees professed warm feelings toward the object of their attention. But it reminds me that there are hazards to being a public figure, which I will continue to try to avoid.

That made for two consecutive bonfire-related and tent-dwelling weekends spent with nice people in fine natural environments. Not bad.

This year’s NGP branded item seemed to be a hit: a red or white LED based head-mounted flashlight. It proved useful for night-time navigation and games.

We continued some of our traditions: anonymous questions for me and Stuart, a very impressive bonfire with toasts and Lefty awards, volleyball. Shamefully, we did not make it to Mr. Puttz.

The backhoe was employed to great effect this year, with Dara the intern triumphantly delivering a massive stone from the back of the back-field to a placement in the front yard. A small crew got in some practice stumping (picture included).

From my perspective, the rest of the time was great as well: useful company exercises, card games, sports, swimming in the pond, eating good food, hanging out.

We also had visits from two NGP honorary alumni, which was great.

I even enjoyed most of the time we spent during the long weather induced flight delay on our return. I took a small group to Concord, NH, where took Lefty photos at the state capitol, ate Thai food, got home-made ice-cream, and laughed a lot.

That board is valuable because it is the repository of a lot of family history. It is covered with horizontal pen and pencil marks, and handwritten labels from about two feet to about six foot two that represent the heights of various family members over time. On it you can find different measurements for: “1,” (my dad’s elder brother) “2,” my dad, and “3,” the uncle in question. I can trace my own growth there as well, along with my brother, sister, and all of my first cousins. And we have moved on to another generation; now my daughter and her cousins are represented up to their current heights.

We had a Pearlman family reunion a couple of weeks ago. It was great to see everyone. It was also fun to have a chance to parade everyone – children, parents and grandparents – over to the board for the brief ceremony of making a new mark.

There is something wonderful about the simple act of taking these measurements, feeling the collective memory of three generations of kids with their back to the same board, year after year, all stretching to maximize their height.

And I don’t even have to mention that, so far, I’m the tallest. 

She had helped prepare the soil, push the seeds into small holes, cover them, water them. She had watched them miraculously germinate, helped weed them, and marveled as they reached out their tendrils and formed new leaves.  Then they flowered, and bore some tiny one-inch-long mini-cukes. Then we went away for some ten days.

Those plants were busy in our absence. Two of the cucumbers had reached a very large size. Magic. She snipped the fully grown fruit/vegetable off the vine with scissors, and carried one back in each hand to show mommy. Her claim: “And I did it all by myself.”

Does this fundraising disparity based on software sound like a plausible claim to you?

Their figures are derived by adding up all campaigns using information from FEC reports that also indicates which compliance software package the campaign uses.

It took me only a few minutes to discover why their figures are misleading.

I broke those same numbers down by party:

For Democrats: (NGP chooses not to service Republicans)

Average dollars raised by candidates using NGP (N=175) $1,269,307.75

Average dollars raised by candidates using Aristotle (N=33) $960,777.91

Conclusion: Far more Democratic candidates used NGP and NGP clients raised significantly more money than Aristotle clients on average.

For Republicans: (Aristotle serves either party)

Average dollars raised by candidates using NGP (N=0) $0.00

Average dollars raised by candidates using Aristotle (N=143) $1,568,806.08

Conclusion: Republican candidates in 2006, more incumbents, majority party, did well.

Ouch for them, a reverse of their big claim:

where there is a fair comparison, NGP clients raise more.

Note that, even though looking at their data by party and following Aristotle's logic (look up ecological fallacy) eviscerates their claim to superior software results, I do not maintain here that the numbers necessarily prove anything about software. As anyone who knows anything about political fundraising can attest, the dollars raised by a campaign is the result of many factors. What explains variation in fundraising by congressional candidates? Some important variables include:

1. Party (in the 2006 cycle, Republicans were advantaged by being in power)

2. Incumbency (plenty of studies show that incumbents have easier access to money)

3. Competitiveness of the race (heck, it is easier to raise money if it matters)

4. Tenure in Congress (I imagine that members who have been around longer can raise more)

5. Committees (membership in certain committees helps raise PAC funds)

6. Sponsorships (backing by groups like the National Rifle Association help)

7. Ideology (certain political positions make it easier to fundraise)

8. Candidate skills and experience

9. Other: (fundraising tools, employment of professional fundraisers, professional website, willingness of candidate to make fundraising calls, etc.) A multivariate regression that controlled for these variables might shed some light; though you would have to be sure to correct for simultaneity, because it is just as likely (or more likely) that good fundraisers choose good software, as that good software makes good fundraisers.

My educated guess about what explains why more Democrats use NGP than Aristotle is that over the course of a decade candidates have found us to be more helpful. Numerous candidates, including some of the biggest names in politics, have switched from Aristotle to NGP. And I would further guess that our candidates raise more on average because candidates in races that were close overwhelmingly chose NGP in the last cycle.

If you have made it through all these words, then I congratulate you and leave you with this parting thought -- consider what an advertisement like this tells you about the company that designed and paid for it.

I have invited Dan Bern (www.danbern.com) and I am very pleased that he has agreed to come. We will hang out for a couple of hours and then Dan will sing.

A quick note about the music. It is something of a risk, I have learned, to own up to a particular taste in music and make it part of a public event. From my staff so far, response is mixed, from “good choice” to “it’s not party music.” But I trust that most of us will be won over in person.

My choice of artist has some meaning to me. Back in 1998, when my company was just getting going and I was a one-man-band myself, my sister discovered Dan’s music at a concert in Berkeley, California. She liked the performance. And my sister is infectious in her enthusiasm. She bought one of his CDs–Dog Boy Van—and sent it to me.

We like the tunes and the clever, diverse, idiosyncratic and unconventional lyrics.

In early albums, songs that I particularly enjoyed included:

jerusalem

marilyn

king of the world

i'm not the guy

talkin' alien abduction blues

I once pissed off a friend because I played tiger woods at a barbeque in my backyard and he thought it was inappropriate for his small children. If you know the song, you will likely agree that it was not the best choice.

Over the years I kept up with Dan’s music; saw him live a few times in Northern Virginia at the Iota Café and Jammin’ Java; brought friends; and own most of his CDs.

Another song that I like:

god said no

In fact, Dan has a zillion songs. I hope very much that he will let me influence what he sings at my event, especially because a lot of my favorites are in the older albums.

Smartie Mine, for example, is a two CD collection and I like a lot of those:

krautmeyer

joe van gogh

little russian girl

gamblin’ with my love (pete rose)

From My Country II (Music to Beat Bush By)

president

bush must be defeated

my country II

My sister adds:

don't make me leave

another man's clothes

black tornado

oh sister

From fleeting Days

baby bye bye

Anyway, I am looking forward to the party.  Hope to see you there.

We tackled the elements of the periodic table cooperatively, something which I do think I have contemplated in over twenty years, since high school chemistry. We got a respectable total (somewhere between seventy and eighty elements, not attempting to place them in their correct positions).

I decided on my return that is ridiculous that I do not know something as basic as the periodic table, so for the past week or so I have been learning about the elements. My mind is nothing like it was as a teenager, so it takes me a lot of time and I have to keep shoring up the information. I have been playing with some free web-based learning tools; for instance, one lets you fill the abbreviations into a blank table and notes any incorrect entries. Another gives you the elements as puzzle pieces that you drag to their place on the table one at a time. In addition, I bought a terrific book, called Nature’s Building Blocks: An A-Z Guide to the Elements, by John Emsley, which has a couple page write-up of each element for a non-technical audience that is quite fascinating. I like learning why the symbol for Tungsten is W, or that cobalt was used for invisible ink, or that the village of Ytterby, Sweden has the names of four elements derived from it (erbium,terbium, ytterbium, yttrium), or how tin and copper were used thousands of years ago. And I have ordered and am really looking forward to reading another, more historical a dn academic treatment with good advance reviews called The Periodic Table: Its Story and Its Significance (by Eric R Scerri).

There is a real pleasure in learning such fundamental things, especially by choice and at my own pace, rather than being driven by job or school. I also have the distinct impression that my brain needs the exercise. So, back to reviewing the actinides.

First, some background. As I child, I remember watching my father lather up with soap and a shaving brush and carefully work over his face with what would now be considered an antique safety razor (a replaceable two-sided blade housed in a metal apparatus.) I remember being fascinated. I tracked his facial gestures as he traversed the always difficult mustache area or stropped under his chin. I memorized the process by which he converted, in a few minutes, a face covered with white soap to one with smooth skin. I think that I viewed shaving as an elemental activity that connected me to generations of male ancestors.

I also distinctly remember my sister’s reaction when it came time for me to start shaving -- “Hee, hee, hee.” I interpreted her words to mean that the adolescent changes that were taking place with her older brother were embarrassing.

For years I failed to contend gracefully with the necessity to slice the hair off my face. I was not static, however. I moved from soap to gel; I followed Gillette down its well-intentioned attempts to provide me suitable products: Trac II, Atra, Atra Plus, Sensor, Sensor Excel, and so on. But I was never consistent enough to be a good patient for their experiments. Too often I would go a week or so without shaving, waiting until itchiness would drive me back to razor. And then I inevitably had an ordeal on my hands; those fancy disposable razors, with their multiple blades and pivoting heads, fill up with long hairs and you are left with a time-consuming and dangerous job.

At times I really tried to have fun with shaving. I experimented a few times, briefly, with the mustache and goatee look, which I thought would limit the shaving area. I also tried stopping mid-shave in a variety of ways, leaving patches on my cheeks, for example. I sought feedback from my girlfriend, but that never went over well. All in all, I facial hair thing was a pain -- I could never get myself past the itchiness of longer hair, or the look of a full beard. (I suppose that vanity can not fully disassociated with the act of shaving, but it has not really been the driving force in my adventures, except that I have concluded that a really ragged beard is not particularly becoming.

But I have solved the facial hair problem for myself, and my wife has been commendably tolerant of that solution. I have not shaved for years; neither have I grown a beard. Instead, I make a pass with a professional quality beard-trimmer from time to time. By doing so, I avoid the itchy phase and the daily lather, the hard work when the beard has gotten long, not to mention the cost in time and money of buying blades. I avoid as well the imperfections of electric shavers and their laughable claims to shave as close as a blade. Furthermore, I dodge the expectations of daily smoothness, difficult for me with my tendency to avoid routine. 

he's here!

Owen Tyler Levine

8.28.06

12.03pm

8lbs 8.8oz

18in.

~Colleen & Louis

I viewed the attached picture of a little boy with considerable feeling. It felt like a big deal -- the first baby born to a NGP employee since my own daughter, four years ago.

And, just as I was looking at the cc-list to see who else was included in the message, I heard a spontaneous and enthusiastic cheer roll up and down the halls of our company. Everyone was reading the same thing and feeling the same way.

And tears came to my eyes, as I realized how much a community event we had, new life in the family.

Congratulations, Louis and Colleen.